24/7 Attractive Man

New Blog Series – Today We Talk About Insecurity Issues, Unhappiness, Shady People and How to Defeat Them

Let’s start this awesome blog post by playing the video above. After enjoying this video, keep reading below.

I called this new blog series “Shift Happens” simply because I think what we tune into everyday eventually becomes a causative agent for “shifts” in the way we perceive and do things.

Now this is something I haven’t done in awhile since the old site, but today I’m making a blog post for you guys. My blog posts are usually long, but many say that the golden nuggets can be found in reading the blogs I put up.  Well to further that comment, let me quote what Henry just said after last weekend’s ICF:

“I have to say, Troy, that I have learned more from you about life than anywhere else.”

Okay, enough of that. Let’s drive straight into the meat and potatoes. Today we’re gonna talk about a core issue that is a typical roadblock when it comes to a man’s improvement, and it’s worse than rejection - Trying to Prove Yourself to Other People.

I had a friend once that never escaped this inner demon of his. It came out in his game, and how he dealt with life, period.

The guy couldn’t keep a job for shit, “negged” girls habitually at the clubs (and boy did he NOT fuck any of them), and generally was a frustrated kid.

Pushing his buttons was easy (I didn’t do it, other people did)… and if you’re a big Back to the Future fan like myself, then you know that impulsive, reactive people are the ones that usually put themselves into a deep pile of shit, like Marty McFly did when he was called “chicken.”

So, if you’re like him, don’t worry. There’s a solution, but before we do that, let’s go hard at the source. See, when I mentor students and customize a game plan for them, I don’t look at mistakes in the field, I always look for habits, and the sources of those habits.

The main driving force of insecurity is this: HABITUALLY COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

I noticed that men that compared what they had to other people all the time were in a constant state of unhappiness and frustration.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t strive for excellence, but you shouldn’t make it a habit to look outward all the time because you will get pissed. Some people truly are smarter, more good looking, wittier, and are 20 steps ahead of you in the social arena, but you know what, who cares? It’s already a given so why mess with it?

Seriously. Screw em. You can’t make everyone happy, so just don’t even attempt to do it.

Play this game for the sole purpose of creating your ideal world and bringing like-minded people in it. Trust me, you’ll live a happier and fulfilling life… and the girls will just keep coming.

If you don’t like the clubs, then there’s no reason why you should force yourself to go there! There are more than several ways to meet hot, educated women with personality and unless you truly love the “ecosystem” in the nightclub culture then you shouldn’t even force yourself to go there.

Going to clubs is like a having a disclaimer at the door: You have to accept the fact that what differentiates club women from any other scenarios is that they already expect guys to come and hit on them.

It’s a fact, and that’s why rejection happens in the club anyways. 99% of the time its never personal. The last 10 drunk morons with pick up lines made it worse for you, or maybe she has asshole father trust issues, or maybe she’s on drugs. It sucks, but you gotta deal with it. You chose the club battle.

BUT I personally love the music at the clubs. I love the illusions, I love dressing flashy at times, I know some key people in there, and I love it when women wear revealing clothes and high heels. I also have enough women from different niches so I’m not really worried about “picking up” at the clubs.

That’s why I go.

But like other guys, I am too busy right now to deal with the clubs. With LA-slash-Vegas, the 2 Asian Summits, and a bunch of programs underway (not to mention mentoring close to 29, 30 people at a time), I have to adjust.

Luckily there’s Facebook, which I don’t think anyone’s figured out as good as I have, and there’s also the lifestyle and core values, which reels women in anyways.

But what I am supremely happy about is having the right people around me. Without the ever changing roster of excellent people that come and go into my life I don’t think I’d be as positive and driven as I am now.

So, I’d like to share with you my personal criteria of finding awesome people to surround yourself. Again, this is my own criteria so take what you can and adjust it to your liking.

#1: They can COMMUNICATE – They can become hosts at a party, talk to people and make them feel welcome and comfortable, and at the same time can be assertive when they need to play hard ball at the board room.

#2: They Have Vision and Imagination - If you want to have a little more fun in your life, you have to surround yourself with people who are just as crazy or are crazier than you. If there’s no one to push yourself beyond the limits of your reality, then you’ll get stuck in that dark place. That’s probably why I love hanging around Nash Casten. He’s bonafide crazy. He almost lit my ex-girlfriend on fire with Bacardi 151 at the clubs.

Kidding aside, if you don’t have any friends who have world domination plans, you are seriously missing out.

#3: They Have Personality - I think I’ve mentioned this more than a couple of times on the old site that I’d rather get someone with personality and zero “pick up skills” (ew did I just say that?) than a guy who knows a bazillion pick up skills but doesn’t have a personality.

I had an email once from one of my Champions of Choice members from Malaysia telling me that he took my advice and found a naturally cool artist/musician guy to be a wingman with. So far it’s been great but he feels that maybe he needs to talk about some of his flaws in the field.

Here’s a wingman tip for you guys. You don’t need to “fix” each other’s individual game. All you need to fix is the chemistry between you two.

Everyone has individual flaws, and its not just game, it could be other things, however I believe that there’s just not enough time to really deal with that directly. Remember this isn’t the Pick Up Olympics or something. It’s just a case of two cool guys hanging out with chicks that have miscommunication issues.

I’ll post my old wingman article up soon, or on the War Room. All i can say is, if you guys work off each other great in front of women, you’ll both win.

#4: There’s Mutual Respect - speaking of insecure people, they’re usually the worst wingmen you could ever have. They’ll naturally put you down, make you look bad, and when the going gets tough will turn selfish on you in the field, so avoid having them around you at all times. They’re poison.

Have friends and acquaintances who are all about teaming up, and test their selfishness if you just met them. Toss them a hot girl in the field and see if they can give up a hot girl for you. I’ve done that lots of times for my inner circle and it’s also been done to me. If the mofo can’t take one for the team then fire the guy. The fact is, that  if you want to WIN in the field, you actually need team players to seal the deal.

Now as long as I am surrounded by people like that around me, I cannot fail.

Going back to the whole “stop comparing yourself” thing, if you’re this person then you need to do this:

Start Being Happy For Yourself - First, legitimately do things that ONLY benefit you. As an old instructor here used to say, be “socially selfish.” When you can say that  you’re doing things to ONLY satisfy yourself, then the insecurities start fading away because you start lessening the habit of looking outward and comparing yourself.

Beat Your Own Game - I learned this when I was in Track and Field, that there was no point looking at the other guy and thinking what he thinks of me or how hard he’s working. I simply had to do this: Get the best lap times, and habitually BEAT my own lap times. That’s how I became the fastest man in my city and won several medals. I didn’t care who they put in front of me, I just knew that I had to be the best version of myself, period.

Stop Listening to Public Opinion - Be like Paris Hilton. All those other people don’t know you so why does their opinion matter?

Wow, it’s already 3 am. I’ve got a Mentorship Call for a San Diego client tomorrow, and there’s a lot of work to do. If you’ve gotten this far into the blog post then it means this stuff is important to you, and if you want more simply write a comment below telling me you want more of this stuff, and I shall deliver!

Goodnight!

Troy

PS: It’s September yet again, and I’ve got some awesome stuff for  you guys on the September Champions of Choice Member’s Pack. I’ve also uploaded some exclusive articles and posts on the Private War Room forum so if you’re a member make sure you get on it and register. If you aren’t a member then you can be one and get the products and special War Room access for only $30 by clicking here.